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Illustrations by Jeremy Eaton It's a generally accepted fact that "science" becomes less tedious with the addition of terms like "vibrator," "handjobs," and "vaginal tightness. And while other newspapers devote science columns to subjects that could only appeal to the nerdiest of nerds, the Mercury only gives friends that fuck in honolulu shit about one thing: That's why for the fourth year in a row, the Mercury Sex Survey shows you how other people do it; so YOU can do gilr better.

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Reguoar popular that the kids like? We should steal their idea! So if it's an idea they want, they're welcome to it. In other words, if you write in to correct us, we'll put your name on our big list of "People We Laugh at and Ultimately Ignore. And a couple of lesbians filled it out.

I'm Going Steady! I'm Married and Content!

I'm Married and Miserable! I'm Single and Content.

I'm Single and Miserable! Are they sex, or ain't they?

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This question has boggled sensual scientists for centuries. Even the Mercury staff can't decide. The guys want them to count, because it raises the numerical value of their sexual conquests. But the girls want them disallowed; since they give an inordinate number of handjobs, they don't want their mothers to know they're sluts. You may now go back to cramming your hand down each other's pants.

Speaking of need good bjs on a regular basis from sexy girl the script, you people have been very busy in the sack this year! Inyou reported that you had slept with an average of people in your lifetime. Inthat number inflated to sex partners! Holy Christ Interestingly, most respondents claim to have lost their virginity milfs looking for young guys between years of age, followed closely by those horny young'uns between the ages of However, since Michael Jackson may be going to prison, expect that number to drop next year.

But here's the meat and potatoes of all sex surveys: I "get it on" two-three times a week! Startling Sexual Statistics How many dates before you're sleeping with a new partner?

When it comes to porn, I prefer Now here are some interesting results you can use around the bedroom. So gals, dust off that old Commodore 64, and let's dial up some Anna Kournikova pictures. The drug that gets me a-rarin' to go is Here's the bottom line: So come on, people! Work with each other, here! Some Troubling News I don't quite know how to say. Let's start with the facts: No big surprise there, right? That just don't jibe! Therefore, we can only come need good bjs on a regular basis from sexy girl one conclusion: If you're not acting out your lover's fantasies Nobody makes YOU out to be a fool!

What A Girl Wants The purpose of this year's Sex Survey is to wifes first huge cock light on what women and men really want in the sack--so, ladies, if you're too embarrassed to talk to your lover, drop them a hint in the form of the following sexy statistics!

Good to Know! An overwhelmingly whopping Before digging in an unknown area, first contact your local utility company. In the handjobs vs.

I've seen a few "how-to's" on giving girls oral sex, but I haven't seen too many guides on giving I'm here to talk about the good ole' BJ and what you can do to be sure your partner (and you!) My man and I (woman, here) have been together for years. . They are one of my favorite things to do on a regular basis now. 6 days ago Why women hate giving blow jobs & men hate them for not doing it. In the end it's all about good sex and love making. We'll get more into this later, but on a conscious level I need you to start . Plain and simple, if you want your woman to get into the idea of giving you oral on a regular basis (and really. That's why for the fourth year in a row, the Mercury Sex Survey In , you have flipped the script again, awarding handjobs with 56% of the vote! In , you reported that you had slept with an average of Good to Know! (60 %) prefer giving blowjobs claiming, "I'm a girl who likes to suck it;.

need good bjs on a regular basis from sexy girl Have a nice day! Just something to think about What A Guy Needs Men are often sensitive, misjudged creatures who need a lot of TLC and guidance in order to express themselves romantically.

Just kiddin'. Yirl want blowjobs, and that's pretty much it. However, we do have our own special needs and concerns, which can be gleaned by the vital statistics. In order to avoid unreasonable expectations on both sides, the Mercury would like to request that women drop their expectation time to 12 minutes, and for men to buy a cock ring.

None of the men surveyed has ever given neee cousin a blowjob. Pickup," married woman fucked hard page. Who knew? Hjs Short Treatise on "Vaginal Tightness" While the length and girth of a man's penis is often a tv ts date of conversation between the sexes, little has been written or said about "vaginal tightness.

Ladies, for a scientific measure of vaginal tightness, insert a pneumatic squeeze dynamometer into your vagina, and use a mirror to read the PSI pounds per square inch. Normal readings fall between 1 and 3 PSI, although the perceived tightness will vary depending on penile girth.

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A PSI of 5 or birl is extremely tight "bear trap" --to remedy, stretch the vagina daily by inserting a tapered object until you feel slight discomfort. Hold for 20 minutes. For extremely loose vaginas PSI of 0. Good luck! The Mercury asked, and you answered! If you're reading this, and agree you would like a blowjob from one of our readers, please give us a "wink" at the end of your Friday, 6 pm forecast on Feb 13, and say, "Have a Happy Regupar Day.

That's why for the fourth year in a row, the Mercury Sex Survey In , you have flipped the script again, awarding handjobs with 56% of the vote! In , you reported that you had slept with an average of Good to Know! (60 %) prefer giving blowjobs claiming, "I'm a girl who likes to suck it;. From how good they feel on his penis, not having to do anything while the woman does all the work, being a voyeur and seeing a girl sexually service him during oral sex. Most of my sex life, I have wondered why men like blow jobs so that this is something that we should be doing on a regular basis. In my own personal love-life, about 90% of my sexual partners have. I would point out though, that what's good for the goose is good for the gander. When he's semi-erect, pop a cock ring on the base of his penis and focus . I dated a white girl who thought Oral sex, whether a blowjob or eating her.

Of the following local TV newswomen, I would most like to pork If you're reading this, and agree that Matt Zaffino should get a blowjob from one of our readers, please give us a wink at the end of your Friday, 10 pm report on Feb 13, and say "Good luck, Matt. You'll need it. In conclusion, we're happy to say the results from this year's sex survey conclusively prove that Portlanders are sexier, and more well adjusted than.

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That doesn't mean we can't improve! Here are a few things to work on in So what are we waiting for? Let's get lickin'! Ladies, be patient when it comes to guys and "climax control.

Sex Survey Results ! - News - Portland Mercury

That's a big mountain to climb. Therefore, is the year you admit, "Yes, honey, I want you to pee-pee on me.

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For the love of god, improve your game! See "Prescription: Pickup," page Stop faking it.

You're only hurting yourself, and slowing down the production of actual neeed. If you're single, increase your sexual conquest quotient by engaging in homosexual experiences. As of this year, handjobs count!

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And as we've all learned, you shouldn't argue with statistics. You might also be interested in these: Now What? SuitePortland, OR News Feb 12, Sex Survey Results ! Steven Humphrey. Newsletters Sign up for the latest news and to win free tickets to events. Mercury Ticketing Buy tickets to events around Portland.

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